Sefton aims to help families to promote positive relationships within their family networks.
How can we work with families who are in conflict?
Building an effective relationship with parents and families is essential to allow professionals to support and enable them to achieve change. Be professionally curious in your approach to try and identify what is happening in the relationship. Listen without making assumptions and try to avoid rushing in to “fix it” mode. Allow family members to share their views and reflection what has been said to check understanding. Using basic motivational skills engages the parents, young people and the family network and allows them time understand what their main difficulties are. The professional can then guide them towards an agreed goal.
What can cause family conflict?
It is normal for two parents, young people and family networks to have different ideas, opinions, values, and priorities. Part of being successful in a family network is being able to use appropriate communication skills, so differences of opinion can be worked out using healthy conflict resolution strategies. If families do not communicate effectively with each other, it can result in chronic, unresolved conflict between them. The same patterns of angry confrontations are repeated over and over again with often no resolution or changes taking place. This conflict can range from yelling, criticising, blaming, put-downs, mocking, sarcasm and ignoring, but poorly managed this can escalate to domestic abuse such as threats of harm, throwing or destroying things.
How is family conflict harmful to children?
The wish of all children is that their parents, carers and family
netorks do not argue or fight with each other. Unresolved,
chronic conflict between parents and family members, whether
living together or separated, can have an extremely negative
impact on the current and future mental health of their
children.
- Negative Impact on Children’s Mental Health
- Children Feel Unsafe
- Children Worry About Taking Sides
- Children Feel Guilty
- Poor Role-Modelling for Children
- Quality of Parenting Decreasing
- Parent-Child Relationships May Suffer
We all have arguments how do you solve yours?
We all argue – but do we always feel that arguments are resolved in a way that leaves everyone feeling okay?
It is normal for parents to argue (whether they are together or not). Things that affect you as an adult can include:
- Lack of Communication
- Job loss/ finances
- Moving Home
- Births
- injury/ illness /deaths
- Parenting/ who does what
- Separation / loss
- Friends / Family
Things that affect your children that may also impact on you can include:
- Starting or moving school
- Birth of sibling
- Tests/ Exams
- Illness
- Bullying
- Friendship
- New family members
- Physical/ Emotional changes
Children are like sponges and absorb everything around them (even when you think they’re not listening). Resolving your arguments will mean your child will:
- Worry less
- Sleep better
- Be more resilient
- Feel more secure and stable
- Have better and more trusting relationships
- Learn how to manage conflict
- Learn how to resolve arguments
- Focus at nursery/ school
At times you might need a little bit of help with your relationship or support as a family. Sefton CVS provides a wide range of support and services to Sefton’s local voluntary, community and faith sector.